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Only on Peacock. Alright.

0:31

Hi. Stop the banging, young

0:33

man. It's me, Neil Brennan.

0:35

It's the Black's podcast. We talk about our

0:37

problems. We heal the earth. Our

0:40

sensitivity to slapping the

0:42

table. Yep. That's block number

0:44

one. Throw it up there. Yep. My

0:47

guest today was the co-host of the

0:49

Conan O'Brien. You didn't say sidekick. Nah.

0:52

Alright. I don't like it. Alright.

0:55

The sidekick for Conan

0:57

O'Brien on NBC. Oh,

0:59

make me angry. Stop it,

1:01

Andy. It's not funny. At

1:07

1230 on NBC at 1130, then on TBS. What

1:11

I'm saying is that the only time you should watch porn

1:13

is when you're falling down the pit of self. And

1:16

the only thing you can do to stop your fall is

1:19

grab hold of your own penis. That's

1:21

when you watch porn. Another good time

1:23

is when everyone goes to the grocery

1:25

store. Yeah. Yeah.

1:30

And he was great. Show was

1:32

great. Consistently the best comedy on television.

1:35

Won Emmys for a while and then Chris Rock's

1:37

still all the writers. No,

1:41

we won one Emmy. Oh,

1:43

you didn't? You won one? Won one

1:45

Emmy. I thought a handful of writer's

1:47

guild awards. But just one

1:49

Emmy. And that was for writing. That was

1:51

not for... He says it like he didn't bring them with

1:53

him. I actually... Yeah,

1:55

they're my key fob. And you told me I couldn't... They

1:58

were too noisy so I had to leave them on. Andy

2:01

Richter. Hi. Ladies and gentlemen. Hi, Neil. Hi, how

2:03

are you? How are you doing? I'm good, I'm

2:05

good, I'm glad to be here. Glad to talk

2:07

to you. I've done your, he has a podcast

2:09

called Three Questions with Andy Richter and he has

2:12

a call-in show called the Andy Richter Call-in Show.

2:14

So he didn't waste any energy thinking of a

2:16

title. No. So it's all, all the

2:18

energy goes into the content. Right. That's your

2:20

commitment to people. I don't know, I mean, I just, I'm

2:22

too old to think of some cute title. How old are

2:24

you? You

2:27

had three more years. How

2:30

old are you? We don't talk about,

2:32

I bleep it when I say it. Oh really? Yeah, because

2:34

it's funny. Because you're 75? Yeah,

2:37

I'm not, I'm doing all right. Yeah. People

2:40

don't, whatever, we all think we don't age like we

2:42

used to, but I truly don't think we do. I

2:44

don't think so either. If you just do it side

2:46

by side. I don't think so either. And when you

2:49

look at, you know, they do all that thing on

2:51

the internet where they show like the Mary Tyler Moore

2:53

show and then they put the ages and those fuckers.

2:55

I did one that I've- Cigarettes, cigarettes and booze. You

2:57

think of that's what- It's cigarettes and booze. Probably right. They

2:59

make you look old. I did one that was

3:02

popular on Instagram. It was

3:04

how old were the traveling

3:06

wheelbarries? Oh yeah, yeah. And

3:09

it was terrifying. It's jaw

3:11

dropping. They were so- Yeah.

3:14

Tom Petty's 42 or something like that. No

3:17

shit. He was 37. Roy Orbison,

3:19

the guy who died at was 51. Wow.

3:23

George Harrison was 40. How was Roy Orbison 51?

3:26

He was like- He died at 52. Wow.

3:30

I think he just got famous at 18 or something.

3:32

Yeah, yeah. Also I'm young, I don't know, Roy Orbison

3:34

is. So

3:37

you, from the outside

3:39

in, my curiosity, we'll get to your blogs in a

3:41

second. Okay. I'd like to grab us up front. Sure,

3:43

sure. My curiosity with you

3:45

was always, were you

3:47

fulfilled by being

3:50

a sidekick? Your words, not

3:52

mine. Initially,

3:55

I mean,

3:58

I left in 2000. because

4:00

I was not. And did a sitcom. Yeah,

4:02

and I did a number of sitcoms. And

4:04

I also knew, I mean,

4:07

yes, I was, there were

4:09

all different things, but at the

4:11

questioners was I

4:14

unfulfilled? Absolutely. I felt like

4:16

I had done that for seven years. I

4:18

was still young enough. I didn't have any

4:20

children. I had the

4:22

flexibility in my life and in my mind

4:24

to think, yeah, fuck this. I

4:27

can trade up. And I had seen other people

4:29

trade up. I had seen like a

4:32

bunch of guys that I knew and women

4:34

that I knew, like do something for a while

4:36

and then hit the market.

4:39

And especially the Los Angeles

4:42

end of show business is so

4:45

childish that if it

4:47

can't have something for a while, then when it

4:49

can have it, it's like, I have to have

4:52

that. Yeah, it's funny. I see

4:54

people like Rob Corddry or Matt

4:56

Walsh, all these people that went, or Steve

4:59

Carell, all the Daily Show people that went

5:01

through the Daily Show. Then

5:03

because I was more in touch with things, you

5:05

would just see, like there's all, like I can't

5:08

tell you how many times like

5:10

I auditioned to be the best friend of

5:12

those guys. Like

5:14

Harlan Williams at one point, it's

5:16

like, or Tom Green, like to

5:18

be Tom Green's best friend in

5:20

a movie. So I knew like

5:23

I have been, I mean, I was invisible.

5:27

Nobody even knew who I was. Then I was

5:30

visible for seven years, but no one could really

5:32

have me. So I knew I could come out

5:34

here and get something. And

5:36

it wasn't that first thing that I was worried about.

5:39

It was like the second or third thing. Did you

5:41

have a thing where you said to the show and

5:43

Conan, like, if this doesn't work, can I come back?

5:45

Or was it like? No, it was just, I'm going. I

5:48

believe you pushed him down and left, right? I

5:51

did. And it's not hard. No.

5:54

It's not hard. He's got like bird bones.

5:56

So, and okay. So you weren't fulfilled. And

5:59

then did you have. I didn't

6:01

realize how good I had it. It was under my

6:04

nose the whole time. Well, when

6:06

he came back to me, when he got the

6:08

Tonight Show, it was.

6:12

So you were off it for five years? No,

6:14

like eight. Eight, great. Yeah, yeah, I think it

6:16

was like eight years, yeah. And your life was

6:18

better? There was definitely, yes

6:22

and no. I mean, I got

6:25

to see what it was like

6:28

to, especially like to see what it was

6:30

like to be number one. And

6:32

I didn't care that much for it.

6:34

I didn't need it. I didn't get

6:36

a charge from it. It's

6:39

nice to be listened to. Pressure. It's

6:41

absolutely pressure and a lot of bullshit. A

6:44

lot of meetings I don't give a flying

6:46

fuck about. And it was nice

6:48

to be listened to. Beyond that, that's

6:50

it. Money,

6:52

yes. But

6:55

nice to be able to say, I want it to

6:57

be this way and people

6:59

listen to you. But I mean, I

7:01

had that at Conan. Yeah. Both

7:05

my first time through and then subsequently.

7:07

And that was one of the big draws

7:10

when I went back. Because at the time

7:12

that he, and it was really

7:14

weird because I knew he was gonna do the

7:16

Tonight Show. And that had been like a ticking

7:18

clock anyway. Because it was like a five year

7:20

run up to it. With a very well drawn

7:22

up contract. Go ahead. No

7:26

holes at all. Yeah, don't look it up. But

7:29

he. He got the,

7:31

he hired a lawyer from the internet, right?

7:33

He just went on LegalZoom. Was

7:36

that his contract for Tonight Show was from LegalZoom?

7:38

It was crazy. I can't say. I

7:41

see all these serious Christmas parties. I

7:43

can't say anything. But

7:47

there was something where I can't remember exactly, but I had

7:50

a hunch that he was gonna ask me to come back

7:52

and be on the Tonight Show. And

7:54

it might've been cause he said, like he

7:56

texted me or you said, hey, are

7:58

you gonna be around tomorrow? I'm gonna call you. And

8:00

there was just like, I bet he's gonna ask me,

8:03

you know. I had a feeling, yeah. Well, I mean,

8:05

we talked frequently anyway, so it could have been anything.

8:09

But when he asked me back, I

8:11

had been in development to do

8:13

a sketch comedy show for Comedy

8:15

Central, which

8:17

I thought, well, come on,

8:20

I'm so big for my britches. I

8:22

can get that, I can get that. That's

8:24

fucking easy. Comedy Central, they'll follow. Sketch

8:26

on Comedy Central? Yeah, come on. Take it from

8:28

me, it's fucking easy. Yeah, they said no. They

8:32

said no. And I, after going

8:34

through this process up, and I will

8:36

tell you, I was super proud. It

8:38

was a fucking funny show. And

8:42

really funny sketches just kept writing more and more.

8:44

They kept saying like, you know, different things. And

8:47

I would have meetings with them where they're like, it's

8:49

so funny and oh my God, I just,

8:52

it's getting better. But I don't

8:54

understand why all these sketches live together.

8:57

And I was like, well, you know,

8:59

I'm in all of them. Like

9:01

I'm sort of like the, yeah,

9:03

but, you know. And,

9:06

you know, and there was like kind of

9:08

an inventive sort of, you know,

9:10

the throws to it. I don't know, you know, the

9:12

sort of framework for it. It was a little interesting

9:14

and kind of, you know, like playing a fake version

9:16

of myself. And

9:19

then they said, and I kept joking with them

9:21

saying like, well, what do

9:23

you want? Do you want me to just do

9:25

like the bong report? And then just like every

9:27

sketch is about weed. And they went, oh, you

9:29

know. And then, you know, and then

9:31

I just was like, oh, I

9:34

get it Comedy Central wants a sketch

9:36

comedy show to be kind

9:38

of about one thing, you know, like,

9:40

cause shortly after they said no to

9:42

me, I saw David Allen Greer had

9:44

the chocolate news. Right. Dave Allen

9:46

Greer. And

9:49

I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, they

9:51

kind of want- What year was this? O2, O1?

9:54

No, probably O7. Oh, it was after.

9:57

Yeah, yeah, it was later. Yeah. Yeah. Because

9:59

I had, I had three. sitcoms. I

10:01

had Andy Richter controls the universe, Quintuplets,

10:03

which I was just an actor in.

10:05

And then Andy Barker PI, which is

10:07

a show that Conan created, or he

10:09

had the initial idea for. And

10:12

then Jonathan Groff, who Jonathan Groff,

10:14

not the Broadway Jonathan Groff, who

10:17

had been head writer on Conan ran the show.

10:19

And it was, that was my

10:22

favorite one by far. The cast was great.

10:25

It was working. Jonathan's one of the best people

10:27

in the world. It's great to kind of work

10:29

with Conan kind of tension. I mean, you know,

10:31

he's sort of dabbled a

10:33

little in it, but I

10:36

was, I was in development. I was, so you

10:38

had a full life. You were married. But

10:42

when he came to me and said, you want

10:44

to come back? I was

10:47

like, come back to having an

10:49

idea on my drive to work and seeing it on

10:51

TV that night. Oh fuck. Yeah. I want to do

10:53

that. Yes, please. And

10:59

I had always been like, I don't want

11:01

to be Ed McMahon. And then I was

11:03

like, I guess I'm going to be Ed

11:06

McMahon. All right. Okay. You know, but yeah,

11:08

but I, and in that time too, I

11:10

had had, okay, I had two kids, you

11:13

know, defend the Ed McMahon lifestyle. Defend

11:16

that because I've never heard any,

11:18

I don't, there aren't that many

11:20

sidekicks. Sure. Explain to me

11:22

why you didn't want to be Ed McMahon

11:25

and then explain to me why you were like, this

11:27

is fucking pretty sweet. I mean, you've kind of already

11:29

had, but yeah, well, I didn't want to be Ed

11:32

McMahon because I saw, and

11:34

it was, it was also the way

11:36

that that role, like there's the host and

11:39

then there's the guy that's the announcer, whatever,

11:41

you know, that's kind of off to the

11:43

side that the way that had been played

11:45

had been like, well, then there's this fucking

11:47

drunk over here. Well, then there's this fat

11:49

guy. Well, then a dummy over here, you

11:52

know, and I just was like,

11:54

I don't want to be bad. Yeah. And there

11:56

were times like there were old timers because in

11:58

the early days, we had a lot of old

12:00

people. timers because it was tough to get getting

12:02

Randy Randall. Yeah. And and and Larry King, who

12:04

was very nice to me. But Larry

12:06

King used to do this like, you know, like something

12:09

would come up with like stupid. He'd be like, you

12:11

mean like this guy? Yeah. And the audience would be

12:13

like, boo. Yeah. No, we don't

12:15

do that anymore. And and he'd be

12:17

puzzled. And

12:20

then, you know, when we started the show,

12:22

I realized this can

12:24

be anything I want it to be. And

12:26

Conan was

12:28

generous, generous enough and secure enough.

12:30

I mean, he's not the most

12:32

secure guy, but he was secure

12:35

enough to have. Like,

12:38

as I've said, somebody with a similar skill

12:40

set sit next to him. Yeah. Like, there's

12:42

not a lot of people. Like, I don't

12:44

know that David Letterman could handle having

12:47

Chris like Chris Elliott sit next to him every

12:49

night. Yeah, I don't think he would like that.

12:51

Yeah. Do you feel like you would

12:53

you go into the show? I mean, what would you're

12:55

you just like, I'm going to sit here and be

12:57

like a sniper and just say funny shit. Or

13:00

was it like I'm going to support Conan or

13:02

I'm going to do you have any kind of

13:04

plan? All of that. That's all kind of wrapped

13:06

up in it. Yeah. But also, too, that

13:09

part. That

13:11

part got to be the the

13:13

automatic part like, you know, like somebody's coming out,

13:15

I don't know what they're going to sometimes I'd

13:17

know what they're going to talk about, but most

13:20

of the time I wouldn't. Yeah. And I was

13:22

and I like it that way. Like they're like,

13:24

I like to keep

13:26

it. You're doing improv before you got absolutely. Yeah,

13:28

that was my thing. But like

13:30

there would be times when we'd have have bits

13:33

and that were sort of loose like the setup or

13:35

something or we'd have something at the last minute right

13:37

before going out and Conan would say, all right, I'll

13:39

say this and then you'll say what? And I say,

13:41

you'll find out and he'd be like,

13:43

come on, no shit. Just tell me. And I'd be

13:45

like, no, no, no, it'll be fine. Like just yeah.

13:47

But I don't want to say it now. I want

13:50

to say it out there. So it's, you know, yeah.

13:52

But I also, especially, you know, in

13:54

the early days, I was a writer

13:56

on the show and it's expected to

13:58

keep. spots on the grid field, you

14:01

know, in addition to being on camera.

14:03

After a few years, you know, I was kind of like,

14:05

you know, look, and they're not gonna file, they're not gonna

14:07

fire me if I don't have a bit, three bits in

14:09

every week. So I'm gonna lay off

14:12

on that a little bit. Yeah, because

14:14

they can't fire me. Yeah, because I'm,

14:16

well- And that's the human condition. What

14:18

are you gonna do? Fire me up.

14:20

I'm on the poster. Well, I did

14:23

have, I mean, I knew like, if

14:25

there's an unhappy writer, who's gonna know?

14:28

But if I'm unhappy- You mean a writer?

14:30

Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. But if

14:32

I'm unhappy, I'm sitting on the fucking set and

14:34

the camera's on me. So, you know,

14:36

I knew like, and which all that

14:38

means is that after

14:41

a number, and I mean like three or

14:43

four years in, I wouldn't stay until midnight.

14:45

I'd go home at eight, you know? I

14:47

mean, be like, the next four hours, I'm

14:50

probably not gonna- Yeah, I'll just go home, you

14:52

know? But

14:55

I was also, and this is to

14:57

Conan's credit, and the greatest gift he gave me,

15:00

was he made me very much a process, or

15:02

very much a part of the process of

15:05

creating the show, of producing the show, of

15:07

the quality control of the day-to-day, of

15:10

the triage that you have to do with bits

15:12

when they're on the floor, and you got it,

15:15

you know, the show's in an hour and a

15:17

half, and you got to come up with an

15:19

ending for something. He very much invited me into

15:21

that process, and into choosing

15:23

monologue jokes, and in just kind of

15:25

quality control, just general quality control, that

15:28

was the biggest part of my day, was

15:31

being involved in that kind of stuff. And then

15:33

the show would come, and it

15:35

would just be fuck around and have fun, you

15:37

know? So you were just sort of like, Jack

15:39

of all, like, I'll help out over here, I'll

15:41

say I'm funny, I guess, this flound, whatever. It's,

15:43

I- When you guys did desk pieces, you were

15:45

always really funny. Oh, thank you, thank you. Yeah,

15:48

and occasionally, I would also enjoy, because

15:51

there would be occasions when I'd get to act. Like,

15:54

I'd get like a real, there'd be

15:56

a bit where I'd really get to act, you

15:58

know? And that was always fun. But

16:00

then it would go three weeks and there wouldn't

16:02

be a lot of acting. I

16:04

used to joke with the stage manager, I would

16:07

say, if I play my cards right, I

16:10

don't have to say a fucking word tonight.

16:12

Yeah. Yeah,

16:14

I was talking to somebody about even

16:16

the idea of acting, I just

16:19

think now the job is just like be

16:22

multi-purpose, fine. And it's like,

16:24

I'm going to wear a costume. It's like, are you from the

16:26

1800s? Why are you being like this? Yeah,

16:29

yeah, yeah. No,

16:31

I mean, that's what I, you know, I do cartoon

16:33

voices. I'm a game show host. I can do a

16:36

lot of different stuff. Great. Did

16:39

you, so that's an 18 year, how

16:42

long did you work there? I was there, it was

16:45

11 in this stretch and then seven

16:47

in the, so yeah, 18 years total

16:49

with about eight or nine off in

16:51

between. You got married, had kids, divorced?

16:54

Yeah, divorced in 2019. Fantastic. So

16:57

it's great. Just in time for COVID. It's great,

16:59

yeah. And remarried.

17:01

Oh, you are? I'm remarried and I

17:04

got an extra kid now. Oh. Because

17:07

I married somebody, a single mom and I've

17:09

adopted my stepdaughter, so now I got three

17:11

kids. That's great. Yeah, yeah. It is pretty

17:13

great. Your daughter, your first, the

17:15

original two, the real two. 23, the 23

17:18

year old son, 18 year old daughter, who's

17:23

just going off to college. My son just

17:25

graduated from USC with an art degree. Very

17:28

valuable. My, hey, he's going to paint

17:31

our house. Incredible.

17:34

I don't give a shit. I

17:37

don't give a shit at all. He at one

17:39

point even said to me when he was

17:41

kind of struggling to get his stuff done, like, I wish

17:44

you'd been harder on me. And I was like, well, honey,

17:46

you need a different dad because I don't give a fuck.

17:49

I was like, you know, and I had told him throughout

17:51

his, you know, high school and I'm

17:53

like, you want to drop out. I don't care. As

17:56

long as you're happy. That's really all I care about.

17:58

And he's, he's happy. He

18:00

and his boyfriend had been together since they were 16, 16

18:04

to 23 and a continuous loving, I

18:07

gotta say monogamous relationship. Doesn't sound that gay

18:09

to me. Anything,

18:12

everything I know about gay dudes. One

18:14

time my ex-wife was like asked them,

18:17

she was all charged up. She was going to

18:20

friends with friends to pride. And this is, I

18:22

don't know, six, seven years ago or something. She

18:24

said, you guys going to pride? And my son's

18:26

boyfriend went, are

18:28

there food trucks? Yeah,

18:31

some gay people are just like this. Stonewall,

18:33

what? What's that? Are there food trucks? Some

18:35

gay people just like to eat and watch

18:37

TV. Yes, yes. Yeah. Okay,

18:40

so let's talk about your issues.

18:43

All right. This is very Larry King. Weight

18:45

control. Weight

18:47

control, hello. Weight control, oh my. What's

18:49

going on? How did you gain all

18:51

the weight? What happened there? I just,

18:53

you know, fat kid and a fat

18:56

adult and had different times when I

18:58

was. Didn't want to switch up the

19:00

brand. No, yeah, exactly. You get known

19:02

for one thing. No, it's

19:04

just, it's like, that's where. You're

19:06

from thick people? Yeah, oh,

19:08

absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, I

19:11

mean, not everybody, but most

19:13

of them. Midwesterners. Yeah. Jack,

19:15

like you look at, I look at like

19:18

pictures of my grandmother's family

19:20

reunions and is just like

19:23

these giants, dour, plow horse,

19:25

Swedes, sitting around at like

19:27

a big gathering going. Yeah. But

19:30

just giant people. Yes. And

19:33

my dad was pretty big. He wasn't heavy

19:36

or anything. But it also

19:38

is too, it's just like, that's where

19:40

my shit goes. That's where

19:42

my need comfort goes. And

19:46

then like the only, like the only chemical

19:48

thing, like I drink and

19:50

I don't, you know, but I've never really had

19:52

an issue with drinking. But like smoking weed can

19:56

get out of control for me. If you don't. If I,

19:58

if I, yeah, if I do. it

20:00

and it but it's like in this and I'm

20:02

not doing it now and I don't know whether

20:04

it's whether I'm sober

20:07

on weed for the rest of my life or what

20:09

but I just I haven't been doing it for a

20:12

number of months and

20:16

my life is better I mean I'm not for

20:18

me it's just it's better my

20:21

mood you know I take drugs to

20:23

stabilize my mood and then I would

20:25

go like smoke different I would go

20:27

like here let's pour some marbles on

20:29

the floor you know so mood stabilization

20:31

much better just

20:35

directed ambition kind of things

20:37

getting shit done much

20:39

better and I don't eat like a fucking

20:41

pig how much how long after eight or

20:43

nine oh my whole life I mean

20:45

not not like not

20:48

as a lifestyle like I you

20:50

know I'm like my brother doesn't

20:52

have a CBD business or anything

20:54

right how many days a week

20:56

mostly sometimes if I was really

20:58

doing it daily the way that

21:00

you have a cocktail like

21:03

the way that you'd wait till the afternoon yeah yeah usually

21:05

unless it was the weekend

21:07

and it's like you know and also you

21:09

know like when my kids were little or

21:11

a weekday yeah move it up yeah yeah but

21:13

I mean you know if

21:15

there was work things I wouldn't you know but like if

21:18

I had a had a fucking Wednesday where

21:20

it was like the way it made you feel yes it's

21:22

a toggle switch of contentment after

21:25

a lifetime of depression and depressive feeling

21:28

and just kind of uh an

21:31

immutable sadness um

21:33

click I feel better you know

21:35

but the problem is were you using it the whole

21:37

time the lifetime of immutable sadness did

21:40

you mute were you able to mute it on

21:42

and off on and off oh with

21:44

the weed the sadness no no no it

21:46

was the weed it was I

21:49

definitely when I was younger self-medicated with

21:51

weed but you you know

21:53

it has a diminishing return you feel like

21:55

shit you get high I feel better but

21:57

then yeah eight days later it's like I

22:00

feel like shit when I'm not high. Yeah,

22:02

yeah. So, yes,

22:05

definitely in the early days. But

22:07

then like I say, it was always just like

22:09

such a nice, a

22:12

nice relief from the tedium and

22:15

from the onweave. So you've sort

22:17

of realized fairly recently, recently that

22:19

you got to either

22:22

cut it out or severely

22:24

reduce it? Yes. And then

22:26

now do you find yourself eating? How's that

22:28

affecting the eating? It's better. It's

22:30

definitely better. When I quit smoking weed, I've

22:32

lost like 15 pounds. Wow. I'm

22:35

really trying, you know? So yeah, there's just like, but

22:38

I still have like, I, you know,

22:40

like I don't, I don't eat bad. My wife

22:42

is a vegetarian. And I do most of the

22:45

cooking. So. Your good wife, your second one? Yeah.

22:48

Go ahead. They were both good.

22:50

They were both good. One just went, one, the

22:52

marriage went bad. It went stinky. Is that true?

22:54

Is that kind of how you think of it?

22:57

Yeah, kind of, yeah. You

22:59

think about habits? We just, I

23:02

would, just the long and short of it. I

23:04

don't want to get into it too much, but

23:06

we had remained like good, like

23:08

partners at running a life and raising

23:11

kids and still even kind of like

23:13

friendly, but we just did not tend

23:15

to the marriage. We just, the marriage

23:18

just did not get any upkeep.

23:21

And it just got beyond the, beyond

23:24

the repairable point, you

23:27

know? When you're

23:30

caught up in like the schedule stuff, the

23:35

romantic part seems

23:37

kind of like squishy or something. And

23:42

now we're a business now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

23:44

We have like, we have schedules we have

23:46

to adhere to. And that's like, yeah, we

23:49

use, we got, that's what got us here.

23:51

But yeah, it's. And it takes years too

23:54

to be, to, like, because you're like, the

23:56

romance part should just happen. And it's like,

23:58

no, no, the romance part. is also part

24:00

of the work. And when you're younger, you're

24:02

like, no, it isn't. It should

24:04

be the magic part. And then as you get

24:06

older, you're like, well, it just isn't. Well, when

24:09

you're 24, you have more time for magic. Yes,

24:11

yes. Because you don't have anything else happening. Ask

24:13

your son. Right. Right. Um,

24:17

so, yeah, that's, okay, so

24:19

what do you, what's

24:22

your weight plan? Are you gonna, are

24:24

you open to Ozempic? What do you, is

24:26

there a huge downside to your weight? Or

24:28

is it just something, a kind

24:31

of aggravating thing? No, there's

24:33

not, there's not, I mean, there's not a

24:35

huge downside to it in the sense that

24:38

I'm healthy. I go to the doctor,

24:40

I, you know, I see a cardiologist

24:43

once a year and I get

24:45

like good marks and stuff, but with, but

24:47

I do take like, I take a couple

24:50

of medications for high blood pressure, in

24:52

addition to the antidepressants. Which you think would

24:54

go down if you got your way down.

24:57

Yes, probably. Very, very likely.

25:00

And I do have, I have sleep

25:02

apnea, which there's a likelihood that

25:04

if I lost weight, that that would be

25:06

alleviated. But not always, that like, Yeah. You

25:09

got a whole lot of that. I know rail, rail.

25:11

Maybe not. You get me, you

25:13

understand. Yeah, you got a whole lot of the

25:15

above. Oh sure, I could lose weight. You'd have

25:17

to sleep with a machine. You'd have to waste

25:19

your time getting off high blood, present medications. Imagine.

25:21

And still have sleep apnea. Imagine if I fucking

25:24

did that and then I find out, fuck. No,

25:26

I still snore like a. Rip off. God damn

25:28

meal. Could have been eating pie this whole time.

25:31

I've always said that like, after

25:34

every salad that I eat for lunch, I think

25:36

like, if I die in a fucking car wreck,

25:38

I'm going to be so pissed. Yeah,

25:40

I mean, I. I could have had a cheeseburger and

25:43

here I am eating a fucking salad. Yeah. And

25:46

then a car takes me out. Ugh. No,

25:48

but I, you know, when it comes down to

25:50

it, I, I

25:54

like myself, I love myself in

25:56

fact. Well, how about that happen? You

26:00

always liked yourself? Lots and lots, no, no,

26:02

no, no. Lots and lots. And I mean,

26:04

I still, you know

26:07

how like you can love somebody but they also bug the shit

26:09

out of you. Yeah. I'm like that

26:11

with myself. But I really do love myself.

26:14

I'm proud of myself because I feel like

26:16

I've made a lot of

26:18

progress in my life just in terms of being

26:20

better at being alive. Work,

26:22

money, I don't know, you know, but

26:25

I have that all that depression

26:27

stuff that I dealt with forever and ever. It's

26:30

not behind me, but it's underneath

26:33

me. What'd you do? Tons of

26:35

therapy, lots of medication. And I

26:37

think some time, some

26:39

just, I feel like- I know

26:41

aging is a disappointingly helpful. Yeah,

26:44

it might. I mean, like

26:46

I say, there definitely was work. I've been

26:48

in therapy for a million years and I

26:50

cannot understand anybody

26:52

that says, I don't need it. I

26:55

just, I can't imagine being alive in

26:57

this day and age and not benefiting

26:59

from going and talking to somebody, even

27:01

if it's once a month. Better help,

27:03

promo code Neil. There you go. 10%

27:06

off your first month. Fa,

27:08

fa, fa, fa. You can switch the therapist whenever you

27:11

want. But

27:14

yeah, so I've been in therapy for a

27:16

million years. I've been on medication for a million

27:18

years. Did you wanna get off the medication?

27:20

I've had, there are points where I was

27:22

on Zola for 15, 20 years and

27:25

people go like, and people are like, do you wanna get

27:27

off it? And I was like, I

27:29

don't, a therapist pointed out

27:31

to me, like, depressed people die prematurely.

27:34

So you, and not, unmedicated

27:37

depressed people. So I could

27:39

stay on it and live longer, where

27:41

it's this thing of like, it's a failure or

27:44

a weakness or something. People

27:46

are really fucking weird. They're

27:48

really weird about it. When I started, the

27:50

first time I started taking medications, my

27:52

friends were, and this is back in

27:55

Chicago a million years ago, they were like openly,

27:59

like. Disappointed and and

28:01

scolding the nine. Yeah, that was

28:03

like Yeah,

28:06

and like it was and I'm like, oh,

28:08

you know Like

28:11

there was just some notion that it

28:13

would somehow alter your personality Yeah, or

28:15

like because the we were young creative

28:17

people it would somehow stymie man activity.

28:20

Yeah, it's like Listen

28:22

when I'm a miserable fuck I can't do anything

28:25

So when I'm a little bit happier, I actually

28:27

can do that I can make these creative things

28:29

that we're supposed to be doing. Yeah, so So

28:33

yeah, I used to kind of think like am I gonna be

28:35

on this for all for a long time? And then just got

28:37

to the point where I'm like Does

28:40

my sister who's diabetic worry about taking

28:42

insulin like no, it's just something Yeah,

28:45

you know you this is part of

28:47

the hand you're dealt is there's just

28:49

different things Some people go bald some

28:52

people. Yeah, I say it's like plantar

28:54

fasciitis. Yeah, it's not I don't know

28:56

just happen I'm not yeah, and and

28:59

and Shut up

29:01

about it. Who cares. It's the Judeo

29:03

Christian. Yes. Yes Protestant

29:05

world yourself up by your bootstraps. Yeah,

29:07

I like to point out Dave Chappelle

29:09

points out the fact that you cannot

29:11

physically No, pull yourself up by Impossible

29:15

yeah, yeah Don't

29:18

even try it So

29:21

anyway the weight thing have you accepted it

29:24

about yourself No, not entirely not entirely

29:26

and I and I am never going

29:28

to be somebody that's like going to

29:30

be a crusader for fat people's Rights

29:33

because I do think I am

29:36

being generally it

29:38

in general terms unhealthy by

29:40

by being He

29:43

probably at this point like 30 pound 30 25

29:45

to 30 pounds overweight Like

29:48

if I lost 25 or 30 pounds, that would

29:50

be a good weight for me at

29:52

my age and whatever You'd be and you'd

29:54

be Drew Carey. Go ahead could be

29:56

with the yeah. Yeah I

29:59

guess I wouldn't Yeah, I mean

30:01

if he's if they got a game show look,

30:03

can you imagine that life the game just

30:05

hosting a game show? That's on every I

30:08

hear nothing but good things about your carries

30:10

like oh, I hear Nippets from

30:12

time to time like yeah, that sounds yeah friends

30:14

I like friends getting on a private plane to

30:16

go watch a soccer game that he owns a

30:18

piece of a t-shirt or something Yeah, okay.

30:21

Yeah, I'll take that okay,

30:24

so and do you does it feel like

30:26

I've I've been thinking

30:29

up about I Do

30:31

sugar day once a week where I

30:33

just eat sugar all day. Yeah Yeah

30:36

Sunday just out of the bag. I

30:38

mean if I if I that would

30:40

be to I want I need to

30:42

soup it up ice Cream, right? Right

30:44

formats. I do a cookie and

30:47

I Part of

30:49

by the end of the day, I'm pretty sick. Yeah,

30:51

and I'm like, hey, what are you

30:53

doing? Yeah, and I there's something about

30:56

the impulse It's

30:59

it's like Larry

31:01

David, I mean they did the Seinfeld episode

31:03

about George thinks he's never gonna get late

31:05

again And

31:11

there's almost something in the human spirit of

31:13

like I need to eat now Look

31:16

beef if I in case I never

31:18

get to eat again, you know, it's

31:20

we haven't Re

31:23

yeah, I don't want to

31:25

make you insecure about your Drew Carrey glasses. No,

31:27

no, I'm not but they're foggy Up, which is

31:29

like which is one of my fat guy triggers.

31:32

Oh, oh, you know like when your glasses fog

31:34

up You initiated the fat guy sequence, huh? Yeah.

31:36

Yeah Oh, fatty's fatty's

31:38

getting hot better. Take off those glasses I

31:41

just remember once Elton John doing SNL and

31:44

doing a sketch and just his glasses were

31:46

fogged up the entire time and my just

31:48

heart went out to him like Saphmars Told

31:52

me a story that He had to

31:54

like talk to Elton John

31:56

before either read through or the show.

31:59

Yeah, and And what he came

32:01

to realize is that Elton John hadn't bombed

32:04

in so long. And

32:06

he was like a combination of

32:08

terrified and pissed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

32:10

Because it's just like, I can't

32:12

just sing Rocket Man. Right, right.

32:14

If things are bombing, I can't

32:17

just go into Daniel. Yeah, yeah.

32:19

So, so you feel

32:21

like, yeah, so I've been thinking

32:23

about the impulse to overeat. Yes.

32:26

And it's, I don't, it's very subtle. I

32:29

think there's also, well, definitely,

32:31

it's a drug. Like sugar,

32:33

especially, you're getting, you're getting

32:35

a high. It's not as,

32:38

you know, unsubtle the high as other things,

32:41

but it's a high. Same thing,

32:43

like I know when I, when I'm

32:45

like over snacking, it's

32:47

doing something to the dopamine serotonin.

32:49

I'm not a brain doctor, but I do know. But I'm

32:51

not even hungry some days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll just be

32:54

like, what am I doing this for? Why

32:56

am I doing this? I don't know. Because

32:58

I got to get the right amount of calories.

33:00

It's like, you'll be fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're

33:02

going to work it out. Right, right, right. Over,

33:05

over three days. You'll get a bump. And see,

33:07

for me, I think like, Neil, you're fucking skinny.

33:09

I know. What the fuck are

33:11

you talking about? Right. Yeah. I,

33:13

you're, that's also true. Yeah. Absolutely.

33:17

But it's just more a matter of like, I, I'm

33:20

pretty disciplined and it lacks discipline

33:22

and that bugs me. I see.

33:24

And I'm, yeah, it's kind of like unnecessary, like

33:26

eating when I'm not hungry. It's like for what?

33:28

Yeah, yeah. I also, a

33:30

huge component of it too, for

33:33

me, and it always

33:35

was in a way, is like, that I,

33:37

like, that I,

33:39

I feel loved and I feel like

33:42

somebody's attracted to me. Like if I felt

33:44

like I couldn't, you

33:46

know, basically, like if I couldn't find- And the

33:48

person who's attracted was Aunt Jemima. Go ahead. Yeah,

33:50

yeah, yeah. Who was the one, who's the, who,

33:53

what are you, you feel loved and feel like

33:55

someone's attracted to you? Yeah, yeah. No,

33:57

just that I don't have to, like, like

34:00

I feel- I feel like, well, if I'm

34:02

fat, nobody will be able to fuck me,

34:04

basically. But I found out as life went

34:06

through, like, no, no. People

34:09

will fuck you. People will fuck you. It's okay.

34:11

And I mean, and they will not just fuck

34:13

me like because

34:15

I'm on TV or whatever. They might

34:17

just fuck me because I'm funny, but

34:19

that I can handle. I

34:21

don't think it serves

34:24

men to ask any follow-ups about

34:28

why. Right, right, right. I mean,

34:30

I don't, they have to worry

34:32

about long-term. I don't, it's none

34:35

of my business. Yeah. I

34:38

never did. And I mean, I

34:41

was engaged before I got on TV.

34:43

So I never was really, until I

34:45

got divorced, I

34:48

was never out there on the market with

34:50

the TV resume, you know,

34:52

doing tricks for me. Artie

34:55

Lang was like, Artie Lang got laid

34:57

by somebody that thought that he was

34:59

me. That's fantastic. And he like apologized

35:02

to me. Someone thinks you have a

35:04

terrible drug problem, by the way.

35:06

Yes, I know. But I

35:10

didn't, and even like when I became

35:12

single and was known, whenever

35:16

I got the sense that like somebody wanted

35:18

to be with

35:20

me because they were a fan, that was no interest.

35:22

I had no interest in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's

35:25

gross. That is like a follow-up. That is follow-up. Yeah.

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36:00

Wait, and the, you said something

36:03

about working, being

36:05

a solo artist. Yes. Is you,

36:07

you're more of a team player?

36:10

I am, it is no

36:12

surprise that I am an

36:15

improviser turned into a talk show sidekick.

36:20

You know, just in the, just

36:22

a general kind of codependent. Like

36:24

the notion of being a stand-up, I just, I've tried

36:26

it. I didn't like it. Yeah. I

36:29

don't, I like being on stage with other

36:31

people. I like, like that's

36:33

where I get my charge.

36:35

I don't even really need a live

36:37

audience very much. I went to film

36:39

school. I kind of grew

36:42

up on film sets professionally, from

36:44

student into like being a production

36:46

assistant and, and then, you

36:48

know, working as an actor on film sets. And

36:50

I like that. That's, that's home to me. Being

36:53

in front of an audience is nice and I like

36:55

those people. And I appreciate that they came

36:58

out of their houses to come see whatever me and

37:00

the other people are doing, but I don't need

37:03

them. I don't need them the way some people

37:05

need them. And, and mostly it's worked out fine,

37:07

you know, it's, and it is kind of like

37:10

making lemonade out of lemons because what it

37:12

comes from is being

37:15

a middle child. I

37:18

mean, tech, I have an older brother

37:20

and a younger half brother and sister who are twins.

37:22

So I am kind of middle. That's

37:25

like, I was a form one person. Yes.

37:28

Kind of, you know, and I was

37:30

the one that I was the morale

37:32

keeper. I was the one that like,

37:34

the master everybody was happy and kept

37:36

everything light. Was there a generally darkness

37:38

around? Yeah. Fantastic. There

37:40

was a couple of divorces and some

37:43

alcoholism and, and just

37:45

general depression, just kind of an umbrella of depression

37:48

to live under. What an umbrella. And

37:50

it's nice. And yeah,

37:52

it really keeps the sun out. But

37:58

I was, on for

38:01

lots of things, emotional

38:04

things, even

38:07

advice kind of things from an early age. With

38:10

your mom or your dad? A little bit of

38:12

everybody. Got it. You know? Still

38:14

a lot? Yeah, both of

38:16

them. So, I feel,

38:19

and at the time it felt very

38:22

grown up and I felt

38:24

proud that I could be of service and

38:26

that I was being listened to, but

38:28

it was, I know now as a parent,

38:30

like, no, I was privy to

38:33

a lot of stuff I should

38:35

not even have had any knowledge about. What

38:38

do you think that does? Grow up too fast? Or

38:42

like emotionally inappropriate, like lack of boundaries,

38:44

does it lessen your parents' authority? Does

38:46

it make you feel unsafe? What's it

38:48

do, do you think? Yeah, it lessens

38:50

the authority, makes you feel too relied

38:52

upon so that you, you know,

38:55

there's a Joseph Campbell, archetypes

38:58

of different characters, you know, and there's

39:00

the sort of golden child center that

39:02

takes care of everyone and like the

39:04

aspect of it that I related to

39:07

is usually

39:09

the first one to leave. It's

39:12

just like enough already, leave

39:14

me alone. And

39:16

it has made me have

39:19

a, and I have

39:21

worked through it, but have enough

39:23

already leave me alone, like just

39:25

leave me alone, just let me

39:27

be. You carried that to your

39:29

other relationship? Yes, yes, absolutely. Was

39:31

it, what did, looking back, was

39:33

the trigger way too, like, hey,

39:36

they'd be like, can I, huh?

39:38

No, no, because I couldn't really

39:40

say no to things. Oh,

39:43

great, so you're the best of all of us, so then

39:45

you're a zen. Yeah, but I mean, but it did, but

39:48

I like helping people, like,

39:50

you know, but then it's just like, like,

39:52

then some people take too much. Yeah. And

39:56

then I don't want to, it feels like

39:58

so much energy to cut people off. You

40:00

know, it's like it's like I just I want to

40:02

help you and I want to give you But it

40:05

when you start pushing then I'm gonna just back

40:07

away Yeah, I'm just gonna recede from you and

40:09

I'm gonna you know, I'm gonna people call you

40:12

on it Was

40:14

that your reputation for like Andy's hot and

40:16

cold or no. No. No, I don't think

40:18

so I mean, I think that no, no,

40:20

no not really. I've always kind of been

40:22

a good friend and I've been a sort

40:24

of a Constant, but

40:26

I feel like I could I can be

40:28

distant like I can like I feel like

40:30

there was You know,

40:32

that was like one of the things in my marriage. I think

40:34

I kind of was there but not there You

40:36

know and I mean and I don't you

40:39

know, I never was neglectful of my children, but

40:42

I might not have always been What are they

40:44

gonna do fire you? But

40:47

I might it you know I was I don't

40:49

feel like I was always as present as I

40:51

could have been yeah, like I did You know,

40:54

I and I definitely will have Moments

40:57

where I I mean I have like these kind

40:59

of existential moments of like do I really know

41:01

who anyone is? Like have I

41:03

really connected with anybody? Yeah, but it's

41:05

that part and parcel like have I

41:07

ever experienced joy? Yeah, like this thing

41:09

other people talk about I don't I'm

41:11

not sure everything tastes like chalk to

41:13

me, you know help. Yes,

41:16

please but I'm

41:18

you know, I Was

41:20

a good I was a good improviser. I

41:23

like being an improviser. I still like being

41:25

an improviser I was a good

41:27

talk show sidekick like I could sit there

41:30

and not really Worry

41:32

about I gotta get mine. Yeah, you

41:34

know, I could I could There

41:37

was lots and lots of room and I

41:40

and I never derived a lot of like

41:42

my sense of self-worth from what happened there

41:45

Where would you get it in life in life?

41:47

I always there a lot. Yeah. Yeah, but

41:49

I mean I had well I knew that

41:52

people liked me. Yeah, I knew like in

41:54

the beginning when there were people, you know when One

41:57

of the NBC executives called me a stupid

42:00

fat fuck or something like that. There's

42:02

actually a quote, like it's quoted somewhere.

42:04

Like when all of that, and I was

42:06

reading like crazy, critical shit about me and

42:08

they'd be getting 93 and they'd

42:11

be in late night years. I

42:13

would know like, well, the people that work

42:15

here are like the funny, literally some of

42:18

the funniest people on earth and they all

42:20

think I'm funny. And they're not blowing smoke

42:22

up my ass. They really think I'm funny.

42:24

Smigo could not pretend to think someone's funny.

42:27

Louis and Smigo couldn't. And

42:30

so I knew like, okay,

42:32

fuck these strangers in the

42:34

paper. So

42:37

you got it from kind of improv, I

42:39

mean like from the community of

42:41

bits. And also too, I don't

42:43

wanna say like, my

42:46

childhood wasn't completely neglectful. Like I

42:48

did, I was given a lot

42:51

of encouragement and

42:56

direction and love and

42:58

affection and guidance in

43:01

addition, you know, with like, you know, like

43:04

some other stuff. With some other stuff. So

43:07

I always kind of had that. I

43:09

always had kind of a self-possessedness that,

43:11

you know, that I

43:13

could rely on in some way. Well,

43:15

it is a weird thing thinking about

43:17

this being like an issue. There's such

43:19

a premium put on like the star.

43:22

And it's like, what about the team

43:24

or the ensemble? I love

43:26

that. I love doing a show with

43:28

it. Like I love the

43:30

sort of camaraderie of it. But I

43:33

also realized that not everybody

43:35

likes that. And not everybody's built like

43:38

that. And like, I'm from one of 10 kids.

43:40

So I'm like, yeah, it's my brother. It's

43:43

like a scrum and it's fun. For

43:45

some people, they, you know, people don't

43:47

move out to LA for

43:50

camaraderie a lot of times. No,

43:53

not, no. I mean, you do improv

43:55

in Chicago when you find it. For

43:57

sure. So how did you, did you,

43:59

has that just. just another thing you've accepted about

44:01

yourself? To an extent, but I also know, again,

44:04

like with weight, like, it's

44:06

not the best. Like if I could be constantly

44:10

writing things for myself, finding things

44:12

to develop, but also too, I'm

44:15

a 57 year old man. Nobody's

44:18

like sitting by the phone with

44:20

baited breath, waiting for me to go, I have

44:22

a vehicle for myself. Have we heard from a

44:24

57 year old? Yeah, yeah. So

44:26

I have been, I've pitched

44:29

things, I've developed things, but

44:31

you just get, and also it's just such

44:33

a shitty time. It's like, I'm not gonna

44:36

fucking knock myself out every day. I'm

44:38

not gonna feel terrible every day. And

44:41

it's really kind of the wonderful things, one

44:43

of the wonderful parts, and it's really been

44:48

like in the last couple of years.

44:52

And it's a huge thing, but it feels kind

44:54

of, it's still kind of small

44:57

and just normal.

45:00

Is it like, I go to bed at night

45:02

now, and I feel like I

45:04

had a productive day, and

45:07

I feel like I, you know, like I filled

45:09

up my human life in

45:11

this day, and I'm going to

45:13

bed tired and satisfied. And

45:16

I just, now I feel that

45:18

so profoundly, yet so kind of

45:21

matter of factly, that it

45:23

makes me think about all the decades in

45:25

which I went to bed feeling like I

45:28

didn't do enough. Well, yeah. I'm

45:32

fucking it up, you know? And

45:34

you're lazy. And by the way, you were probably doing

45:36

more then. Yeah, no, it's the

45:38

difference between, because I

45:40

was thinking like now you're

45:42

more easily satisfied with

45:44

more realistic expectations of yourself. Easily satisfied

45:46

because I have a better perspective, and I

45:49

realized there's a lot of, I mean,

45:51

yeah, I just realized there's a lot

45:53

of stuff that, Yeah, what's the difference

45:55

between your point of view then and now? Like, do you

45:57

feel like you were a lot of, 30s and 40s, 20s,

45:59

30s, 40s is like a lot of busy work or

46:06

was it, do you look

46:08

back on it and be like, eh, I

46:10

didn't need to do half of that.

46:12

No, no, I still, I mean, it's

46:14

a matter of, I

46:17

always have felt like I should have been

46:19

writing more, I should have been pushing more,

46:22

I should have been a better agent

46:24

for myself and like, you

46:27

know, a salesman for the product of me. And

46:30

honestly, I don't even care that much. I

46:32

like going home, I like making

46:34

a nice dinner. I like, you know, I

46:36

get a vegetable garden. No, I know what

46:38

I'm dealing with. I think I'm sure a

46:40

lot of people deal with this, like what

46:42

is the right way to do this? What's

46:45

the right way to think about this? I

46:48

don't think you can just get to one. I

46:50

think that you have to go through it. Like

46:53

I have a theory that you cannot

46:56

have the perspective that you

46:58

have as an older person when you're

47:00

young and beautiful because you'll be too

47:02

powerful and it will throw the universe

47:04

out of whack. Like if

47:06

you had the self-possession when you were

47:08

young and had no, yeah. That taught

47:10

young students. Yeah, yeah, and had no

47:12

aches and pains and you know, and

47:14

just kind of, and still had that

47:16

fire to make the biggest

47:19

splash you can and make the most money you can

47:21

and make the most people know about you. I know,

47:23

but the problem is you wouldn't, the

47:25

wisdom would tell you don't

47:27

bother. Yeah, calm down. Yeah.

47:30

Because when you do enjoy some of that,

47:33

like you know, money's nice, yeah, sure. But you don't,

47:35

I don't need to make all the money, but I

47:37

think for a while I thought, because money was, my

47:41

family always had money struggles. We lived

47:43

a nice middle-class life, but there was

47:45

always bill collectors calling and

47:48

you know, push, you know, touch

47:50

your world, touch and go, you know, have a huge

47:52

lead on your care. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I

47:55

mean, I as a kid could tell

47:57

a bill collector and when they'd ask for my mom,

47:59

I'd say she wasn't. home, you know, which

48:01

again is another thing that's like, I

48:03

wouldn't do that with my kids if I, you know,

48:05

like, I wouldn't let my kids answer

48:07

the phone and tell a bill collector, you

48:10

know, I just, I don't know what I'd do,

48:12

but I wouldn't give them that sixth sense. It's

48:15

not a thing for a 12 year old to have. Yeah,

48:20

I guess, I don't, I mean, I get

48:23

the idea. So you said, and your

48:25

son was still like, I wish you'd been harder on

48:28

me. Yeah. Is in some ways

48:30

to saying, I wish you'd let me lie to the bill

48:32

collector. Do you know what

48:34

I mean? Like, no, I think what he

48:36

means is that the way that so many

48:39

people, like I'm a big Howard Stern

48:41

fan and I hear about, and

48:43

I know other friends like this who had

48:45

a father that they had to prove something

48:47

to. I don't have to prove anything to

48:49

my dad. I never have. I've always kind

48:51

of been like, I've,

48:53

you know, I felt like the parent

48:56

child sort of need and

48:59

providing, you know, need, provide

49:02

dynamic got switched really early on to where

49:05

I felt like I was taking care of

49:07

him. Yeah. So yeah, I never

49:09

felt like, Oh, I gotta make it. You

49:11

saw. There is some invaluable, I mean, I

49:13

talked to somebody about this, about there's something

49:15

valuable, negative inspiration. Yes. Yes. Like

49:17

there is some, like there is something that I'm

49:20

going to show them. You're not, I

49:23

mean, they don't care. No, I know. You think

49:25

they care. No, I know. They do not care.

49:27

But I feel like, you know. Your dad might.

49:29

Howard Stern is such like a, is

49:31

such an example. And because I do listen to

49:34

him so much and I, you know, I mean,

49:36

when I think about like, who's provided me the

49:38

most entertainment over my lifetime, it's Howard Stern. He's

49:40

in my time. I haven't listened to it in

49:42

25 years and it's still like my, I

49:46

still, it's like, yes. But he had

49:48

a dad that was a recording engineer. Yeah.

49:50

Listen to radio, was really into radio. So

49:52

Howard got in his head. I'm going to

49:54

be big in radio. Yeah. Why?

49:56

Right. To make daddy listen to me. And then

49:58

he went through a whole lifetime. of his

50:00

dad not giving a shit about him. Yeah. So,

50:03

you know, I'm like, I don't-

50:06

You can't change people's- Yeah, like would it

50:08

have been nice if I wanted to prove

50:10

something to my dad? Like what

50:12

I proved to my dad is that

50:14

like, I'm mentally healthy. Like I proved

50:16

that. Like I'm like, I've

50:19

worked hard. The hardest work I've done is

50:21

like- Does he give a shit? No, and

50:24

we haven't talked in like 16, 17 years.

50:28

Yeah. So that didn't work. No,

50:30

it didn't work. But to the same thing,

50:32

it's like Michael Jordan is like mad at

50:35

the guy who cut him and his brother

50:37

Larry and all that shit. And it

50:39

worked. And I'm sure the guy who

50:41

cut him, the guy who cut him was kind of

50:44

like, ugh. And his brother Larry is like, probably like,

50:46

I don't know, what was better than you? What the

50:48

fuck you want me to do? There is something, you

50:50

do get value from, like

50:54

you get the value of being mentally healthy.

50:56

Yeah. Even though it

50:58

may have been like the wrong inspiration. Right.

51:01

Although I don't, you were probably not conscious of

51:03

that, right? Were you like, I'm

51:05

going to show you mental health. Oh, no, no,

51:07

no. No, no, not really. My own promo code

51:10

on better health, you'll see. There

51:12

was, I mean, there certainly has

51:14

been lots of things that I've done

51:16

in reaction, both

51:18

good and bad. But a lot

51:20

of it was not

51:23

be sad all the time. Like I

51:25

definitely set out to do that, to like, I don't

51:27

want to do that. I don't want to be sad

51:29

all the time. I don't want to- That's so funny.

51:31

I mean, that's a, I've

51:33

gotten to the point where a lot of

51:35

my goals now are emotional. Yeah. Where

51:38

it is like, I want, now I've

51:40

also hedged it and I've

51:42

had professional goals that I've

51:44

reached some of. So it

51:47

is like a hard thing to tell your kid, you

51:50

want him to be happy. Yeah. But you're also like,

51:52

hey, what are you gonna, where are

51:54

you gonna live? Yeah, yeah. You know, how do

51:56

you manage that? I do, you

51:58

know, he lives with me now and I do. poke

52:00

him about like, you

52:03

know, but honestly,

52:05

I feel like... And I don't mean your

52:07

specific... Sure, sure. I mean, new fangled

52:10

parentry. Yeah, yeah. How,

52:12

what's the sort of, what's the

52:14

hedge? Well, you're never going to

52:17

get it right. Of course. You

52:19

know what I mean? But yeah, but you do have

52:21

to, like I always, the things that

52:23

I always, and believe me, because I've gotten

52:25

to, I thought I was being a, I

52:27

was really good at parenting. And

52:29

then my kids kind of started to

52:31

really into young

52:34

adulthood be adults. And there was stuff where

52:36

I'm like, ooh, I might've done that wrong.

52:39

You know, and oops,

52:42

you know. But also how

52:44

much of it can you control? You can't.

52:47

These kids come out as

52:49

they are. Yeah, that's what I keep hearing. When you

52:51

look at a little baby, you're like, I kind of

52:54

have a hunch that their personality is this. And

52:56

then they fucking grow up and show you that you

52:58

were right. Like, yep, that's who that person is. And

53:01

you can, you know, the things that I,

53:04

and it's like I told my son when he said, I wish you'd been

53:06

harder on me. And I was like,

53:08

I'm sorry, you know. But then later in

53:10

conversation, I was like, look, you have

53:13

an amazing group of wonderful friends and

53:15

he truly does. I love his friends.

53:18

They have stuck with each other for a

53:20

long period of time. I said,

53:22

you have been in a loving, committed relationship

53:24

for a very long time for a young

53:26

person, which is very unusual. That

53:29

I am intensely proud of. That

53:31

is a major accomplishment to me.

53:33

And I think about my son

53:35

who's maintained this thing. And that's,

53:38

you know, whether you're delivering pizzas

53:40

or not. Yeah, that

53:42

makes you unhappy. I'm sorry, but

53:44

I don't care. Right. And

53:46

is it part of the parental responsibility

53:49

is emotional health and also can

53:51

you fend for yourself in the world? Because I feel

53:53

like the swing has been to just be like, I

53:55

just wanted to be happy and I don't care. And

53:57

it's a bit like, Hey man, it's still the earth.

53:59

Yes. And they're still gonna

54:02

need to figure out, now from what I read, the

54:04

baby boomers are gonna leave trillions of

54:06

dollars to their offspring.

54:09

Oh really? It's gonna be the biggest wealth transfer in

54:11

the history of the earth. Oh nice. From what I've

54:13

heard. So that's sweet. Yeah, my, but yeah, I'm not

54:15

getting into any of that. But,

54:18

well that's, you take care

54:20

of them, you know how it works. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

54:22

So yeah, I guess I'm just curious as to how

54:25

you see it. Like the areas where I

54:27

feel like I am not sure that

54:32

I did the right thing is things like,

54:34

do you wanna play soccer? And

54:36

then they're like, my son was so great. I

54:38

took him to like when he was, I don't

54:40

know, six or seven, took him to his friend's

54:42

soccer game. And I was like, with

54:44

the idea of like, let's go see your friend play.

54:46

And like, maybe you wanna do this. And

54:51

he was, I said, do you wanna

54:53

do, you know, after we're done, he's like, I

54:55

don't wanna do anything where other parents are there

54:57

yelling. And I was like, You

55:00

got a point. Yeah, you got a really good

55:03

point there. And I didn't push. And

55:05

like, you know, my kids took music lessons

55:07

and I didn't really put, I don't, I'm

55:10

not exactly sure when your

55:12

kid says, I don't wanna do this. And you go, fuck

55:15

it. Yeah, I'm stepping in and I'm

55:17

gonna say, you got it. She

55:20

has a kid and I was like, what

55:22

are things where it's like, know you're doing

55:24

this? Yes. Is

55:26

it piano? Is it like tiger

55:28

mom piano lessons? Yeah, yeah. Like,

55:31

what do you force on them?

55:33

Right. And what's valuable? What

55:35

force is valuable? Yeah, yeah. Well,

55:38

the ones that I did force on them, the ones

55:40

that were important to me are kindness

55:42

and politeness. Yeah. Like I

55:44

insisted on politeness. You would beat the shit out of

55:46

them. I would fucking, I had actually, I would keep

55:48

tweezers and a nickel and a Bic lighter and I

55:51

would heat up the nickel and I would just touch

55:53

it a little bit. I didn't even wanna know what

55:55

you did. Just touch them with it. It replaces where

55:57

teachers work. You called child services on yourself. Oh, I,

55:59

I, you. You guys get down here and see

56:01

this. I said, I

56:03

wrote, when my son said, I wish you'd been

56:05

harder. I'm like, remember the nickels, the hot nickels?

56:10

You wrote in here, speaking of, I

56:12

don't want to go places where adults are yelling,

56:15

being social is a bit of an issue. You

56:17

don't like- It's the stems from

56:19

the people, feeling like people want too

56:21

much. Like- Even

56:24

at a party. Yeah, sometimes.

56:26

Sometimes, yeah. And it's just

56:28

emotional, they want your attention.

56:31

Attention, and from

56:33

being on TV and people know who

56:35

I am, wanting to have the

56:37

same conversation 50 times. I

56:40

was going to keep going. Yeah, yeah. And

56:43

I mean, some of them are very pleasant.

56:45

And then there's other ones that are just

56:47

kind of really stupid and boring. And

56:51

there are people that come up, they'll

56:54

say something you've heard a million

56:56

times, but it's very positive

56:58

and friendly and respectful, and it's

57:01

short, and they leave. Then there's

57:03

other people that are like, now's

57:05

my chance to just

57:07

hold on to you and not let

57:09

you go. And I have

57:11

a real hard time being a dick.

57:13

I can't, I mean, I can count on

57:16

one hand, probably the number of times when

57:18

I've just kind of been rude to somebody

57:20

to make them stop. And

57:24

I mean, I've had people in my life

57:26

who are like, why did you talk to

57:28

that person? I'm like, I know, I have

57:31

my own methods to get out of it

57:33

in a way that they're happy with and

57:35

I'm happy with. Why? Because,

57:37

well, because if I make some,

57:39

I do not want to hurt

57:42

somebody's feelings. That upsets me, it's

57:44

too much of a

57:46

burden on me, it's too much work for me

57:48

to then get over the

57:51

adrenaline, the dirty adrenaline rush

57:53

of like the same thing of

57:55

like yelling fuck you at somebody in traffic and

57:58

then being fucked up for four hours after. if

58:00

I feel like I'm rude to some of that, it

58:02

just lingers and I. That

58:05

happens to me, but it doesn't stop me from doing

58:07

it. You know, I just have, I have a, and

58:10

I'm like, why, I'm like making a

58:12

concerted effort to not be like that.

58:14

Yes. And it's still like, yeah,

58:17

like the instinct is just to reduce

58:19

or minimize or get it ended or

58:21

whatever. And I mean, and

58:24

it's better now in terms of like me going

58:26

to a party and not, but it still is

58:28

like, you

58:30

know, and it's something like my wife

58:32

kind of had to deal with, my ex-wife had

58:35

to deal with, and my wife has

58:37

to deal with, my ex-wife had to deal with is,

58:40

you know, and my wife will be like, there's

58:43

a party, it's a bunch of my friends, it's

58:45

a, you know, work people, you

58:49

know, and I'm like, and I don't, I

58:51

don't, I try to be a good

58:53

supporting partner. Yeah.

58:56

But there's plenty of times where, you know,

58:59

we'll be at something and like, it's been 15

59:01

minutes and I'll be like, so we can go

59:03

now, right? And she's like, no, we can't go

59:05

now. I'm like, oh, I felt

59:07

like we really did a good job, you know, we really,

59:11

we said hi to people, I made a couple of

59:13

people laugh, now we can just go home and be

59:16

in our house and just talk to each other, right?

59:18

Yeah. Like, no, no. So I

59:20

try not to be that way. Does drinking

59:22

help? Not really. I

59:24

mean, I don't- Don't smoke and weed ahead of time. It's

59:27

just, people tend to

59:29

hit you with the same talking points and

59:31

you're just a little bored. Yeah, and then,

59:33

but that's not- It's not aggressive, it's not

59:35

right. That's not the entire thing either. There's

59:37

also just kind of general shyness. Have you

59:39

ever found yourself in a situation where Chappelle

59:43

had the funniest story, which was we were shooting

59:45

the movie Half Baked that we wrote and

59:47

he was in a scene with Willie Nelson and

59:51

Willie Nelson was like, yeah, man, I

59:53

just miss going to

59:55

the mall and people watching. And

59:57

Dave said, he was like, yeah, I get

1:00:00

that. and put in his head, he was

1:00:02

like, it's fucking Willie Nelson. Like he wanted

1:00:04

to go like, fucking dude. Like, do you

1:00:06

ever find yourself wanting to do the thing

1:00:08

that you do, that people do to you

1:00:10

a little bit? Like ask about

1:00:12

their part, whatever, ask about the person you

1:00:14

see on TV with them, the

1:00:16

basics that make you empathize a

1:00:19

little more? Yes, yes. And

1:00:21

especially like now doing a podcast

1:00:24

with famous people

1:00:26

and even not so famous people where

1:00:29

there's like, you know, there's

1:00:31

like, there's this big thing about your marriage

1:00:33

that everyone talks about and like, and I

1:00:35

would only go, so what's the deal with

1:00:38

the marriage? And I just, I don't and

1:00:40

I can't and I know that it's, that

1:00:43

it wouldn't be a satisfying answer anyway because why

1:00:45

the fuck should they tell me about their marriage,

1:00:47

you know? Or their whatever,

1:00:50

you know, yeah, their drug addiction

1:00:52

or their, you know, promiscuity or

1:00:55

whatever. Like all the dirty, juicy

1:00:57

secrets that are just

1:00:59

natural, you know? Yeah, that

1:01:01

we wanna know. Yeah, yeah, so

1:01:03

yeah, definitely, absolutely. But I often,

1:01:05

I am largely unimpressed,

1:01:13

like doing the talk show for so

1:01:15

many years, you know, just, it's a,

1:01:17

you just, you get it

1:01:19

sort of like drummed out of you

1:01:21

to care that much about famous people.

1:01:24

I still do, I actually got a really, I

1:01:27

got to do the, one of the coolest things I've ever gotten

1:01:30

to do and it just happened recently, Fred

1:01:32

Armisen got stuck in Ireland

1:01:34

working on, I think

1:01:37

it's that Wednesday show. And

1:01:39

he was supposed to moderate

1:01:42

a panel at the

1:01:45

Pantages Theater, 40th anniversary,

1:01:47

redone screening of Stop Making

1:01:49

Sense and moderate a Q&A

1:01:51

with Talking Heads. And he

1:01:54

couldn't do it, Flanagan actually, the

1:01:56

person was booking, it was like, Fred can't go. He

1:01:59

said, what about? about Andy Richter and

1:02:01

they were like, oh, that'd be great. And I got to

1:02:03

do that and I definitely had a moment because

1:02:06

I introduced a band that sang one

1:02:08

of their songs from the Talking Heads

1:02:10

song. They showed

1:02:12

the movie, we came out, sat down and I

1:02:14

introduced them one by one. And as I sat

1:02:17

down, I definitely did have this meaning. Holy

1:02:19

fucking shit. That's

1:02:22

talking heads right there. But it's a very,

1:02:24

it's a real pure, your age, they,

1:02:26

who they were. Yeah, and I

1:02:29

mean, I saw that tour twice.

1:02:31

Wow. Like twice and it was a big

1:02:33

deal, like twice. I've

1:02:37

watched that a bunch. Like I know Jeff

1:02:40

Croneworth, his dad was DP. Yeah.

1:02:44

That movie works. The

1:02:47

songs are excellent, but

1:02:49

the movie punches so far over its

1:02:51

weight. Yeah. It's

1:02:54

just alchemy. Because there's no thing

1:02:56

that they do. It's

1:02:58

not like, it's just

1:03:01

single. I don't know. There's nothing

1:03:03

magical about it other than it's

1:03:05

magical. I also love that the

1:03:08

song that they let Tina and what's his name

1:03:11

today is the biggest hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like

1:03:13

you'll come out, you'll fucking, yeah, you can do

1:03:15

your thing. I gotta go get into another stream.

1:03:17

They made more money on that song than the

1:03:19

entirety of the Talking Heads. But that,

1:03:21

yeah. And I mean, what I also loved about that

1:03:23

and it kind of like having to think

1:03:26

about it and then talk about it and ask questions

1:03:28

about it. One thing that just

1:03:30

really struck me was just that Jonathan Demme

1:03:32

had the sense to just

1:03:34

not do much other than record

1:03:36

it. Than just like

1:03:38

record it in a visually pleasing

1:03:40

way that lent itself to

1:03:43

the drama and spectacle

1:03:45

that was already there. Like

1:03:47

don't slice it up. What drama

1:03:49

and what spectacle? I mean, I say

1:03:52

this genuinely, what do you mean? There's

1:03:54

no drama to it. Well, no, just

1:03:56

like I'm just thinking of. I love

1:03:59

the movie. I listen, I mean,

1:04:01

but I'm, but I'm, my, I think

1:04:03

I'm right. Where I'm like, nothing really

1:04:05

happens. Well, by drama, I just mean,

1:04:08

by drama and spectacle, I mean, it

1:04:10

starts with a spotlight and he chooses

1:04:12

to just shoot the spotlight for a

1:04:14

while. And then you see a shadow

1:04:16

walking into the spotlight. And then the

1:04:19

spotlight is just David Byrne with

1:04:21

a boom box and a

1:04:23

guitar. And at the time, nobody

1:04:25

really done something like that. So

1:04:27

it's compelling. It's like the concert

1:04:30

starting and it's just him. And

1:04:33

then you're saying, I think it's Psycho Killer right off

1:04:35

the bat. I think that's the first song. Yeah, yeah.

1:04:37

And it's, and he does it solo. Money.

1:04:41

Yeah. What's, what do you, what

1:04:43

you're not great with it? You said. I'm

1:04:45

not, I'm terrible with money. And I have

1:04:47

like a child's relationship

1:04:50

with money, which is like, I

1:04:52

have $40 in my pocket

1:04:54

and this thing costs I

1:04:57

can afford it. Then

1:05:00

you only got eight bucks left. What? Nah.

1:05:05

You like, it just, it's flat earth.

1:05:08

It's just the money you have. And then. Yeah.

1:05:11

Yeah. And I'm not, you know, I

1:05:14

was never driving Bentleys and wearing fur

1:05:16

coats or anything, but I definitely benefited

1:05:19

from making enough money that I could

1:05:21

afford to have somebody that just handled

1:05:23

everything. Like I, and I've said it

1:05:25

before, like I pay for a daddy.

1:05:28

I pay a percentage of my income

1:05:30

for a daddy to handle

1:05:33

the medical bills, to pay the mortgage,

1:05:35

to make sure that the earth, we

1:05:38

have earthquake insurance. To, you

1:05:40

know, set aside

1:05:42

the money for my retirement to, you

1:05:45

know, I say I want a college fund

1:05:47

for my kids. Okay. And then somebody siphons

1:05:49

off that money. It's all done for me

1:05:51

and I pay for it. And if I

1:05:53

had it to do myself, I

1:05:55

would fuck it up. I would

1:05:57

fuck it up because I just can't. You

1:06:01

tell me about something financial. You

1:06:03

tell me about like,

1:06:06

like remember when we all had

1:06:08

to fire our writing agents because

1:06:10

of that packaging agent thing? I

1:06:12

had that explained to me three

1:06:14

times. And within five minutes

1:06:16

I would be like, and I truly would listen

1:06:18

and I'd be like, okay, I

1:06:20

get it now, I understand. Within

1:06:23

five minutes it's out of my fucking head and I

1:06:25

don't remember what it is. I buy

1:06:27

life insurance, get

1:06:32

the whole, like just a Bible of

1:06:35

information and all these different things. And

1:06:37

I'm sort of making decisions

1:06:40

as we go and it's all with

1:06:42

other people's opinions and stuff. And then

1:06:44

after I'm done, I don't know what

1:06:47

the fuck I just did. I don't

1:06:49

know. And my

1:06:51

wife now, she's really, really good

1:06:54

with money. And

1:06:56

in many ways I'm embarrassed.

1:07:00

Like that was one of the

1:07:02

most embarrassing things in

1:07:05

getting together and like really

1:07:07

letting our guards down. She

1:07:10

realized I'm a fucking child with

1:07:13

money. And there's just like the way that

1:07:15

I spent money. And that, you know. You

1:07:17

can't get the gender roles right at your

1:07:19

house. Your son, your gay sons, monogamous.

1:07:22

I'm doing all with cooking. You

1:07:24

don't understand money. Your

1:07:26

wife's got a day job. Yeah. What

1:07:29

the fuck? I'm sorry. I

1:07:32

don't know. And we're turning

1:07:34

the paradigms on their head.

1:07:36

Has there been a bottom

1:07:38

or a turning point? Or

1:07:42

like, was there one like, oh fuck, I'm

1:07:46

screwed or it's been cool? Oh,

1:07:48

it's not. I mean, it's not cool

1:07:50

right now. No, I mean, like

1:07:52

I got to fucking work. I

1:07:54

mean, it still is kind of, you

1:07:56

know, the Conan show ended in 2021 and I was good. for

1:08:00

a pretty good long stretch. And I was paying for

1:08:02

two households, you know. And

1:08:05

I was good for a good long stretch. And

1:08:07

then it like, it started to

1:08:09

be like, oh, I already

1:08:11

got that job. And then that job will keep

1:08:13

me for a while. But I need a

1:08:15

steady gig. And

1:08:18

I realized too, like I had

1:08:20

an embarrassment of riches, both literal

1:08:22

and figurative, with having a steady

1:08:25

job for so long, you know.

1:08:29

But I just, and in looking back

1:08:31

on it too, again, like I thought I got

1:08:33

through a certain point in my life and I didn't

1:08:35

have any, I thought I don't have any real

1:08:37

regrets. But

1:08:40

now I realized like, I

1:08:42

did send my kids to private school for, which

1:08:45

is basically like, I've been paying for somebody

1:08:47

to go to college. Since-

1:08:49

For 16 years. Yeah, like 2005. Yeah,

1:08:51

like 2005. Because my kids

1:08:53

are, my older kids are five years apart. And

1:08:56

like my daughter's, my daughter's

1:08:59

last year high school was 40 to 50 grand. You

1:09:03

know, like somewhere in that. And that's

1:09:06

like, if I had just moved to a different,

1:09:08

I could have moved 15 minutes

1:09:12

away and lived in

1:09:14

a very nice town, in

1:09:16

the LA area that has a wonderful

1:09:18

school system. And we could have had

1:09:21

that money. That money could have

1:09:23

been ours. And looking back on it, I do

1:09:25

think like, damn, you know?

1:09:27

Yeah. And I just could

1:09:29

have, we could have done

1:09:31

a lot different. And I mean, I don't, as

1:09:34

I say, we didn't live an outrageous, an

1:09:37

outrageously luxurious lifestyle, but we had

1:09:39

a nice life. We'd go on

1:09:41

trips and we had a nice

1:09:43

house, but not like

1:09:45

a palace or a mansion or anything. And

1:09:49

I made a good amount of money for

1:09:52

a very easy job. I mean, like the

1:09:54

TBS show is, I

1:09:57

worked four days. a

1:10:00

week because they didn't show TBS didn't

1:10:02

have a song on Fridays and that was the way it

1:10:04

was from the very beginning. The

1:10:07

last, I

1:10:09

don't know, eight years of it. Yeah,

1:10:11

eight years of it. I lived literally

1:10:13

10 minutes away from the studio. Yeah.

1:10:16

So I'd go to work at like

1:10:18

10 and be home at like before

1:10:20

six. Yeah. And that

1:10:23

was for a big chunk of my kids

1:10:25

growing up and made a nice

1:10:27

living, not like primetime money.

1:10:30

Yeah. But a nice, a really

1:10:32

nice living. But

1:10:36

I could have, you know, I could have put more

1:10:38

away. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah, blah,

1:10:40

blah. Do you worry? Because I worry about running

1:10:42

out of money. I worry about having, you know,

1:10:44

I'd save cheap. Do

1:10:49

you worry? Like what do

1:10:51

you, what's the worst thing

1:10:53

your brain will tell you is going to happen? You

1:10:56

know, I mean, honestly, the worst thing it

1:10:59

would be is like having to

1:11:01

sell a house and move into an apartment. And I,

1:11:03

and even then I'm like, kind of like, yeah, yeah,

1:11:07

yeah, that's okay. There was, I

1:11:09

mean, I used to have much more dire sort

1:11:11

of like being on the streets, like homeless kind

1:11:13

of thing. But I just kind of feel like,

1:11:16

no, that, I mean, the will start to go

1:11:18

fun. Barring the full breakdown of

1:11:20

society, which, you know, you never

1:11:23

know, you know, we'll always

1:11:25

be able to afford rent

1:11:27

on a two bedroom apartment.

1:11:31

So I'm not, I

1:11:33

don't sit there and worry that, you

1:11:35

know. Well, a lot of it is like,

1:11:37

I don't want to be the kind of person who

1:11:39

had to sell his house and

1:11:42

go to an apartment. It just becomes, and it's like, how

1:11:44

bad would the reality of that be? It

1:11:47

would be fine. Right. You're gonna,

1:11:49

I tell you what you're gonna do in your house or

1:11:51

your apartment. You're gonna sit on your fucking computer and

1:11:54

then you're gonna close it and watch TV. Right.

1:11:56

Then you're gonna pause it and open your, that's what

1:11:58

you're gonna do. You go to bed and you're back,

1:12:01

whatever. So like. And it's, you

1:12:03

know, I,

1:12:05

again, I, how

1:12:07

much more, I

1:12:10

mean, I'm not like old, old, but

1:12:12

I am a mature, you know, middle-aged

1:12:15

adult. So it's like, what am I,

1:12:17

I'm gonna, what am I looking to

1:12:19

do here? Yeah. You know, I'm not

1:12:21

gonna open up my own custom motorcycle

1:12:24

shop or something. You know, it's like,

1:12:26

I'm just gonna live in a house

1:12:29

with my family, have fun and

1:12:31

laugh and, you know, hang out

1:12:33

with them. And

1:12:36

that's, you know, so yeah, I can do

1:12:38

that on different scales, you know, it's

1:12:41

perfectly fine. I mean,

1:12:43

yeah, it'd be nice to have a steady, more

1:12:45

of a steady income nowadays. But

1:12:48

the one thing that I just miss is making

1:12:50

stuff. I just miss making

1:12:52

stuff. And that's that going back to

1:12:54

like the authorship thing, I wish that

1:12:57

I somehow, but I don't

1:12:59

even know if that would, like if I had

1:13:01

this fire, like I was constantly, you know, out

1:13:03

there, I got this idea, and I got this

1:13:05

idea, you know, like that. I don't even know

1:13:07

if I would be making stuff, but that, I'd

1:13:10

just be fucking miserable. Right, who knows if that's,

1:13:12

it's also very stressful. Yeah. It's

1:13:14

like mitigating between, hedging between

1:13:16

stress and purpose. Yeah, yeah.

1:13:19

I don't know. It's like signing up

1:13:21

for a hundred contests. Yeah. You know,

1:13:23

and like, you don't, it's not necessarily

1:13:25

a meritocracy. Each one means a lot

1:13:27

to your self-esteem. Yeah, yeah. All

1:13:30

right, my final question, it's very broad. What

1:13:33

do you think, how do you, what do you

1:13:35

think of life? And

1:13:38

what do you think your, the point of

1:13:40

view was? Oh,

1:13:43

this is like, that's very kind of my podcast,

1:13:45

and it ends up on the same deal. Way

1:13:47

to go, rip off fucking

1:13:49

copycat. Promo code Neil. Yeah, check out the

1:13:51

new Copycat 3000. No

1:13:55

one had ever asked questions before Andy

1:13:57

Richter came along. Yeah, and

1:13:59

the... power of threes had never been

1:14:01

noticed. The

1:14:04

point of my life, and

1:14:06

see this is, but I mean this in a pure way

1:14:08

as I can, to make people happy, to make people close

1:14:10

to me happy, to make

1:14:18

their life, their time here better, because

1:14:20

it really does boil down to like,

1:14:22

I don't

1:14:24

know, I don't think much. I think when you die,

1:14:27

you go on the ground and that's it. So you

1:14:29

got what you got time wise. And

1:14:32

if you can make it nice for other

1:14:34

people, and if that can make your

1:14:36

time nice, you're doing the

1:14:38

right thing. You're doing something that at

1:14:41

least when you get to the end of it, you're not

1:14:43

going to be like, oh, I fucked it up. When

1:14:47

there's no rewind.

1:14:50

So yeah, and then

1:14:52

professionally, I've often thought

1:14:55

about, show business

1:14:59

is fucking stupid and

1:15:01

gross and

1:15:03

embarrassing. Like I've

1:15:05

always said, sometimes I watch, and acting

1:15:07

can be the most embarrassing thing. I

1:15:09

watch people in bad shit and I'm

1:15:11

just like, oh, it's so embarrassing what

1:15:13

we put people through. But having

1:15:15

said that, can I talk to you for

1:15:17

a second? Pretty

1:15:22

good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean,

1:15:24

that's also the day. You can't close this mill. Both

1:15:27

of those are pretty good. It's

1:15:29

not that hard. What the fuck? Not that

1:15:31

hard. The quote David's made, dogs can do it. He's

1:15:35

not wrong. But

1:15:37

the one thing about being in comedy

1:15:39

is that, and it is truly

1:15:42

a beautiful thing, it

1:15:44

is the basic

1:15:46

expression of happiness is laughter. So

1:15:49

that's what your product is, is

1:15:53

happiness in a way. And it

1:15:55

might be fleeting. Right. And

1:15:57

worse its relief. Yeah. But

1:16:00

it's still, it's like- It's

1:16:02

not, it's only cruel to one person. I mean, you

1:16:04

want to talk about a pretty small carbon

1:16:07

footprint. Yeah, yeah. I

1:16:09

mean, unless you're being stereotypical and then- Right,

1:16:11

right, right. Then you get up till you

1:16:13

can sweep whole population. Right, right.

1:16:16

But yeah, it is, if it's just one person,

1:16:18

yeah. No, you're right. And that's a

1:16:20

pretty cool thing to

1:16:23

traffic in. Yeah. Yeah.

1:16:26

No, I mean, it's, my

1:16:28

philosophy with

1:16:31

the Conan show, and it kind

1:16:34

of bridges into everything. I just kind of, like it's

1:16:37

something that just kind of has organically come

1:16:39

up in my life, is

1:16:42

I always felt on the Conan show if it's

1:16:45

an hour, that what that

1:16:47

show basically was, an

1:16:49

hour that people in

1:16:52

their homes could check in on

1:16:54

funny, interesting people hanging out and

1:16:56

doing fun stuff. And

1:16:59

they just wanted to kind of eavesdrop

1:17:01

on that. So the

1:17:04

main job I felt, my

1:17:06

main job was to protect

1:17:09

and guard my true

1:17:11

actual happiness during that hour,

1:17:13

and my actual pursuit of

1:17:15

fun and a good time. And

1:17:18

what interested in me and what would make

1:17:20

me not have to fake it, not have

1:17:22

to fake, like this is great, but

1:17:25

to really have a good time, to really

1:17:27

ask the questions that I wanted to ask

1:17:29

or do the stuff I wanted to do

1:17:32

or perform that bit the way I wanted

1:17:34

to perform it. And

1:17:37

I do think that that, if you can

1:17:39

try and

1:17:42

guarantee your own fun,

1:17:44

it's just, it's good for everybody. I

1:17:46

mean, as long as your fun is

1:17:49

not, it's something

1:17:51

else, six beds, or is it mean or is, you know, like

1:17:55

detracts from others. Maybe a minor

1:17:57

expense. Listen, as long as, yeah. You

1:18:00

can just you know, yeah, right

1:18:02

exactly. We all pay

1:18:04

in yeah, sometimes the mice When

1:18:07

you when you cut down a field of weed a few

1:18:09

mice got a day Thanks,

1:18:12

mister Oh